A Dream

I hope you had a wonderful weekend! I'm going to start off with the most random question but it came to mind this weekend and if you want to know why, you're going to have to ask me. Would you go to a dentist who had bad teeth? Or a dermatologist with bad skin?

Most of my day yesterday felt like a dream. I stumbled out of bed at 4:21am, 39 minutes before my alarm would awaken me to that Verizon whistling tune. You know the one. I was hoping a shower would wake me up but I can't even remember the shower at this point. I made my way through the deserted streets of Hoboken. A young shoeless woman in her bar wear sat in front of the bakery on a bench, but she was not waiting for a bus. Late night, I'm guessing. There weren't too many people waiting for the 5:30 PATH...me, a security guard on his way home from his shift, and a guy in spandex with his bicycle. When I exited the PATH station at 9th street, a woman in a skin tight sequined dress was being held up by two men with slick hair and accents. I continued to walk down 9th in silence. My torso, a gold spark in the early morn. Made a left down 5th and a right down 10th. Parents were waiting for my arrival. My shift had begun. Six hours, a cop knocking on a motor-home,and two Mario Batali sightings later, my shift was over.

A few things I'd like to mention. I can't tell you how many residents came over to complain about the street parking situation. "If only the NYPD knew about this, they wouldn't stand for it either." To which I would reply "Hey, I'll go get the two NYPD who are standing up by the dorm entrance for you, okay?" This would follow with silence. Don't test me when I'm moving in Freshmen.

One of the more interesting things about move-in day are the familial interactions. Seeing the way different families deal with this important day; the departure, the sadness, the joy, the fear, the questions, the dreams, the new friendships...all of these ingredients are stirred together. Some mothers cry, others jump for joy. And if I had some of the parents I saw today for my parents, I'd probably be jumping for joy too.

And so now, students are back. No more line-free lunches, hello teachers' dirty looks.

Who said being a reporter was easy? Check out this hoe-down:



And in Ebook news...

In honey bee news, the electromagnetic waves emitted by cell phone towers seem to pose a threat to honey bees.

I've mentioned giving up my seat to pregnant women on the PATH at least 3 times a week. Well it turns out, Lynn Harris wrote a piece about pregnant women having trouble finding a seat on the subway.

Hope you have a great day...

Instead of parking tickets, hoboken parking officials are now leaving stale bread.

I'd Like To Solve The Puzzle...

This clip says it all.

Have You Seen My Umbrella?

My umbrella has gone missing. Well, one of them. Standing at about a foot and a half long with a black hooked handle, slightly worn. If you see it please let me know. I had a somewhat pleasant stroll to work in the rain this morning. Luckily it wasn't a NYC downpour, just a light drizzle. I'm glad the weekend is almost here, although I will be up early on Sunday to help move anxious freshmen into their dorm. The screaming, the fighting, the crying siblings and mothers, the asking for directions and to watch their car, the frustration, the heat, the rain, the dry erase boards, snacks, drinks, clothes, musty posters and trunks filled, school supplies, the crates and mini-refrigerators. These will all await me when I arrive at around 5:45am...what was I thinking?

I got an email and a voicemail from Jessica yesterday who works at Club H Fitness. I contacted them because I wanted to take a tour of their facilities but more so, to find out what their membership fees are. Now when a place will not give you the fees over the phone, a red flag goes up. Too expensive. Jessica mentioned that they do not give the fees out over the phone and that I should come in and meet with her. "better get in soon because a lot of people are taking advantage of the promotion." was another line. I will go in and listen to their presentation and in addition to trying to pry my wallet from my packet they most likely will try to sell me a timeshare. I'm guessing they won't be able to offer me a membership at the price I want but I am looking forward to meeting Jessica.

Well, so much for the KFC secret recipe. We know the secret now. Hey, since when did KFC start selling brownies? Speaking of which...

Jason Biggs is in the news! That's right, your favorite American Pie actor was apparently attacked by an ape. See, James Pattinson isn't the only one who has difficulty with attacking fans.

The Seat Filler

For those of you who don't know, all of the big award shows (Academy Awards, Tonys, etc...) hire "extras" to be seat fillers so when a star gets up to go to the bathroom, you never see empty seats in the camera shots. I have been offered the opportunity to be a seat filler on a few occasions when I was in college but wasn't able to do it either time. I'd love to do it one day, although I really do it on a daily basis.

I have started to notice that there are a lot of pregnant women in Hoboken. Why have I noticed this? Well because just about every other day I give up my seat to a pregnant lady. I have a radar now and I immediately get up and give them a seat. Only once did a woman say no and after we went back and forth she was adamant about standing. So in a way, I am a seat filler. Although I'm saving a seat for two.

And now, the wheelchair from the future....

Oh yeah, because this makes so much sense (cents).

If you are a comedian, of course you are going to use your Mother-in-law in your jokes. It's a given. Well this Mother-in-law isn't going to take it any more. She's suing.

I've heard of a cat lover, but this guy takes it one step further:



I never thought someone would actually write an article about the best way to swat a mosquito, and I was wrong.

According to Jim Brasseur, a fluid dynamics professor at Penn State University, the best approach is to clap or slap from both sides — rather than a swat from one side only.

Thanks Jim. How many hours of research did it take to come up with this?

A NJ man shot his parrot because the bird annoyed the man as he watched a NASCAR race.

Authorities advised the father and his son that if another family pet — a Labrador Retriever — annoys anybody they should call police or the animal control office, reports said.

When asked what he was going to do with the cage he replied, set up a track inside and race my micro machines.

That's budee budee budee..all folks.

It Could Happen To You

I felt like watching this video this morning and so, I am sharing it once again with you:



Do you like to play the Lotto? If so, this is the lucky store where you should pick your next numbers. They have had two jackpots in 8 weeks.

Remember my post about the mall? Well it looks like a pilot crashed landed in the parking lot. Luckily, no one was seriously injured.

Erin, this is for you..I know you won't click on my links unless I explain what they are linking to, so, BABY ANIMALS.

Tired of making breakfast for company. Well, this may just be the solution. The automatic pancake machine will make 200 pancakes per hour. Hope your guests are hungry.

Eeeeeverybody Muuust Turn Riiight....at the liiiiight.

In Salmon news, Salmon have returned to Paris. They left the city after watching The Little Mermaid in 1989. (Can you believe the movie is from '89??) Les Poissons, les poissons, how I love les poissons!

All for now. Busy week.

I'd Rather Be Bitten By A Vampire

Aside from being infamous for its deer, Canadian geese, overpopulation, Psychic fairs and a mention in Seinfeld, Parsippany, NJ doesn't have much going for itself. Growing up there, there was no town, no place for kids to go hang out and meet other kids. Whoever planned the town planned it for corporations and stores and didn't think about the children. I'm sure many of you will say, "But Evan, Parsippany was recently voted one of the best places to live" and to that I say, "yes, that's because there are a lot of jobs in Parsippany, thanks to the massive number of corporations (thanks Pfizer) and stores. Let me get back to why I bring Parsippany up in today's post. And in order to do that, let's play a little game of "Would You Rather."

Would you rather attend the Official Twilight Convention in Parsippany or be bitten by a vampire?

I chose the latter. That's right, the Official Twilight Convention is going to take place in Parsippany, NJ. And wait until you see what's in store. Here's a link to the site.

A sinfully sensational event giving fans the super-rare opportunity to personally meet stars of TWILIGHT including KELLAN LUTZ, ASHLEY GREENE, KIOWA GORDON & CHASKE SPENCER! That's right: guests will appear and be escorted around the room to meet each and every person in attendance! This is going to be awesome! And with fellow fans from around the world you'll enjoy a delicious sumptuous Breakfast as well!

Not interested? Well how about the Saturday Night Vampire Ball:

Fans from around the globe congregate in their finest vampire wear to raise the roof! Prizes for best costume and best dancers!

Here's the perfect way to meet and mingle with fellow fans and also you'll get to personally meet some of our Twilight guests who will be attending the party. A DJ is set, and this party is fine for all ages. Our celebrity guests so far include ASHLEY GREENE, KELLAN LUTZ, KIOWA GORDON & CHASKE SPENCER! This event is included on a complimentary basis for GOLD WEEKEND PATRONS. We had a FEW extra tickets that were available for those who are not Gold Patrons.

What!? No James Patterson...er...Robert Pattinson? Sigh.

I know many people who will read this post and want to go to this thing. I'm staying far away.

Apparently, yesterday was National Go-Topless Day. I had no idea, and apologize. I'm usually so good at keeping me readers abreast of such holidays.

Julie Powell has inspired a whole bunch of new food bloggers, like this guy who is going to try a slice of pizza from every NYC pizza joint.

And now I leave you with a treat. Christopher Nolan's next film...Inception