Jetpacks Make Commuting Easy!

I think one of these $100,000 jetpacks would make my commute easier in the morning. I have officially begun the search for a place and thanks to Brian, have a great agent who has already sent me some attractive listings. My goal is to find something that is an excellent investment in an up-and-coming neighborhood. I'm Suzanne Whang, and this is House Hunters.




And I thought feeding the pigeons was bad...

I guess this rat problem could be easily remedied. Just bring in the 44-pound cat from, you guessed it, the Garden State. Oh we're so proud. The large feline will be appearing on many shows today including Live With Regis and Kelly. And while we're talking about cats, I noticed that the clip I posted on Monday with Christian the lion was shown on the Today Show yesterday and was on all of the entertainment news shows last night.

I started to watch the second season of This American Life on Demand and it's one of the best shows. It is beautifully filmed and directed and the stories are incredible. I highly recommend it and if you haven't seen the first season, you're in luck!

JK Rowling will be raking it in for the rest of her life...get yours now for the LOW LOW PRICE OF $100.

uh
oh, we knew this was coming...Internet Addiction.

Looking for something fun to do while you are at the lake this summer? Well this looks like fun for all ages!



Devang was laughing about this the other day so I watched it again and honestly, it gets funnier with each viewing.

Judge Judy Hits The Deck

Good morning everyone! So the Verizon Fios TV is up and running and it's awesome. Now I can't wait to get an HD tv and check out the HD channels. I also finally have Showtime so I can watch it on demand and catch up on Dexter, This American Life, and Californication. Very exciting stuff.

Rachel Ray Update: No call from the Rachel Ray Show yet...

I hope all of my LA readers are okay after the earthquake yesterday. Apparently they were filming Judge Judy when the earth started to rumble and the footage is already available.



I wonder who won the case?

Harry Potter fans, brace yourself. The trailer for The Half-Blood Prince has hit the internet!!!



Oh this new robot is high on the creepy meter...

And most importantly, have you gotten your Safe Sex License?

Here's a link for some really cool Google Chat emoticons. Go crazy.

I mentioned the other day that Tim Burton is doing Alice in Wonderland...well rumor has it that Johnny Depp is playing the mad hatter. Oh how I would like to help out with this film.

Have a great day and be sure to get your tickets to Piccola Cosi at the New York International Fringe Festival by clicking here.

Evan on the Rachel Ray Show? Perhaps.

I finally did it. I called Cablevision and canceled our cable subscription and quite frankly, I thought they would have put up more of a fight. They had a few lines and gave me some reasons why I shouldn't cancel but I wasn't convinced. So today, when I get home from work, I will be able to try out the new Verizon Fios TV. I'll let you know how it is. I know Verizon customer service is horrible so hopefully there won't be a need to call them. We'll see if the fleas are saying "Wow".

So I got a call from a segment coordinator at The Rachel Ray Show because they are considering me for a segment. I'd be the perfect choice and I'm hoping I hear back from them. It has to do with Blueberry Pie. Yum.

It's hard to believe that a year has gone by since my encounter at the Sussex County Fair. I think that blog entry was one of my longest and I'd like to get back to more writing and less linking to news stories. The fair is coming up again and I'm going to hopefully attend this year but stay away from the "unknown". Stick to the animals, the food, and the food. I strongly encourage you to go as it is just so much fun. I wanted to attend the turkey calling contest but I'll be away in Vermont.


Did you hear about Richard Branson's aircraft? WhiteKnightTwo?

I was excited to find that the first trailer for Oliver Stone's "W" has hit the internet:



What's your name? There are so many I just can't remember any more.

This is so cool...I want to perform at Graceland!

I saw a misplaced Arnold cat toy at the supermarket checkout last night. Who knew they were even making these????

Have a great day :-)

Monday, Monday..dum dum..da da dum dum.

Approximately 10,000 people took part in the NYC half marathon yesterday so it was a fluke that when I turned on the tv I saw the only person I knew who was running the race (the time on the screen was 8:41am). There was a lot of shaky camera work during the broadcast and I was glad we got to see all of those sponges on the ground. I went to Spring Lake on Saturday to celebrate my grandmother's birthday and the weather was great! We ate at this great restaurant in Belmar called Casa Solar.

Have you seen the following video? I don't know if it's the music or the message but it made me feel good.



I love NYC!

You know you love them..here's my recipe of the week.

Actor Shia LaBeouf who is one of today's biggest young stars appears to be in trouble. I hope this isn't true.

And Lindsay Lohan was hit by a motorbike in NY.

This is pretty Cuil.

I have always wanted to go to the Parsippany Psychic Fair to film a segment. The fair took place yesterday and while I didn't make it, I'd like to imagine it was something like this...

Boardwalk at night

Good Luck NYC Half Marathon Runners

It's a beautiful Friday morning and I'd like to start by wishing good luck to all those running in the NYC Half Marathon on Sunday. Go out there and beat your previous times! If you want more information on this race which goes from Central Park to Rector Street, click here. Afraid of crowds? No worries, the race will be broadcast on ABC! So set your DVRs.

Okay, let me get out the paper and see what's in the news today...

We use our cell phones so much these days that the thought of them being harmful is scary. I've been using my speaker phone and my bluetooth more often.

Here's another reason why rabbits make great pets...they'll save your life too!

This sounds like it was terrifying...

Lions, and tigers and real life ETs Oh My!

These NYC River Gym renderings are so cool! It's about time they came up with the idea of "transforming wasted human mechanical energy into a useful kinetic gymnasium."




I hope you have a great weekend and I'll be around so let's do lunch..and remember,

You don't need a cabinet full of cleaners.

Subway Church, Take the A-men Train

I went to subway church this morning. It's happened before and I basically have no control over when I go. For the second time I have stepped into an A train and have listened to this man talking, no...rather screaming, about Jesus and how Jesus saved him from his crack addiction. Now this guy is really loud and I wouldn't want to have to stand near him because I'm sure there is saliva flying as well. I'm glad he was saved but having to endure someone screaming at 7:35am in an enclosed space, we could all do without. Amen.

I couldn't believe how much rain we got in New Jersey yesterday. In the words of Boaz Frankel, "it was nutso".

Last night after work I went with my sister to do a walkthrough of the Fringe Venue at which she is performing her one woman show, Piccola Cosi. Oh, have I mentioned that you can now purchase tickets online??! Of course I have, but I'm going to mention it quite frequently now in hopes that Mr. Big Time Producer/Casting Director stumbles upon this and wants to come. If that is the case, please let me know.

Apparently, this couple haven't gone down to the basement.

Vanity Fair Rocks!

If you know me well, you know that I am a huge Tim Burton fan. Well Tim is working on a version of Alice and Wonderland and word has it he just cast the actress to play Alice. Can't wait for this one.

Gotta love Beaker:



Stay dry today.

I Need To Keep A Blogging List

During my commute I will come up with things I want to mention on this blog and then when I sit down to write this blog the things I thought of escape me. So I will now be keeping a list of blogging thoughts so that this doesn't happen. I watched most of Forgetting Sarah Marshall last night because Mia said I had to see it, especially right now and she was right. I loved it and have a huge boyish crush on Mila Kunis now.

I have been sporting my new reef flip flops on the weekends (yes they do have the bottle opener on the bottom) and I highly recommend them. I have to laugh about the bottle opener because, well, picture this... Your sporting the flip-flops and roaming the streets of New York City. A beautiful woman on the corner is trying to open a beer that rests in a brown paper bag. You approach her, take off your flip flop, grab her beer, and with the dirty bottom of your flip flop you open it. I'm sure she wants the bottom of your dirty shoe touching the beer she is about to drink from. I only wish Reef would hire me to direct this ad.

Heee-haww..Wall Street got Drunk...



Batman Assaulted Sophia from The Golden Girls? Huh? What did you say? Oh, I must be getting my news stories mixed up.

If you are traveling, watch out for "X-ray"ted airport screenings...yikes!

"But officer, I didn't have enough for my Gap jeans."

I miss Clips and Quips and I know a lot of other people do too! I want to let you know that the website is still up with some of our classic clips. So check them out and savor each little gem.

I've been meaning to post some summer recipes so here's Martha Stewarts hummus recipe:

I'm still hooked on a feeling...how about you?

Be Kanye Now?

So I saw an ad on the subway this morning which I haven't seen before. Be Kanye Now! Take a pill and look like and be as cool as Kanye, and there was a website: www.bekanyenow.com. When I got to the office I typed in the URL and was brought to the Absolut site. Hmmm...nice job Absolut, you fooled me.


Do you recognize the reporter in the middle? Well you should. It's Jay Leno...following in Jimmy Kimmel's tracks, Jay Leno disguised himself as a reporter and attended the TV Critics Assn. press tour. He was asking all sorts of questions before they realized who he was. Late Night is changing and it'll be interesting to see what happens.

So you want a pedicure huh? Why not try this new method. You don't have to worry about getting infected by unsterilized pedicure tools.

Better return the jalapeños.

Brace yourself, some places in New York City are going naked. That's right what's more relaxing than nude yoga? What's funnier than nude comedy? uhhhhh...let me get back to you on that.

So that's how you get rid of the roaches...I don't remember them doing that on Dirty Jobs.

Only in NYC will you find the Street-Meat-Palooza.

Two thumbs up up and away...I'll miss Ebert and Roeper. I am reminded of this video:


We all love The View, especially when the topic gets heated and Elizabeth starts getting emotional.



If I were Jesse Jackson I'd be protecting my n*ts.

While we're on that topic, I thought I would mention that there was an arrest made at the NYU Bobst library the other day. Let's just say the guy wasn't reading... so I came up with a joke.

"When police asked the man in the library what he thought he was doing he replied, "giving myself a final exam".

Have a good day and thanks for being there for me when I need it most.

My New Low Raspy Batman Voice...Do You Like?

I hope you had a wonderful weekend...it was hazy, hot, and humid but I'm sure you found a way to keep cool. And if you didn't, here's how to make your own paper fan. I got a lot done over the weekend and had a fun time with friends.

As expected, The Dark Knight set a record high this weekend at the box office, raking in $155.34 in its first weekend. Did you see it? I had heard a lot of good things about the film so I went in with high expectations. Let me just say that Heath Ledger's performance is so good that when he is on the screen you are completely mesmerized. Aaron Eckert's performance is also very very good. You have got to go see this film. The entire cast is so great in this film and Christopher Nolan's directing is super. I left this film feeling so satisfied, ready to go fight some crime and tempted to start speaking with that low, raspy Batman voice. Here's some behind-the-scenes footage from the film.

Looking for a fun weekend activity? I think I found one.

I mentioned last week about a Paterson, NJ congressman looking to ban saggy pants. Well this Chicago Suburb is ahead of the game.

Oh Johnny Boy...



Facebook is getting a facelift!

So while I was in college I came across this action figure in a clearance bin at Toys 'R Us. It was from the movie Spy Kids and I thought it looked just like Dr. Phil. So I brought it to the writers at Letterman and gave them one...they got a laugh out of it but never ended up using it. So here's a photo I took with my phone of the Official Dr. Phil Action Figure. Sorry for the blurriness.

Have a great day :-)

FringeNYC 2008 Tickets Now On Sale

Be sure to get your tickets to my sister's play, Piccola Cosi before it sells out. Tickets are currently on sale. Click here to purchase and scroll down to her show to choose the date you'd like to attend. It's going to be great and I hope you will attend and show your support.

My friend Amanda works for JibJab and if you haven't already seen it, check out their new Election 2008 video. The website is awesome and you can enter your face into the movies and sendables which you can send to all of your friends. I took the new video from YouTube but encourage you to check out the website. They are doing such cool stuff and Amanda Spalinski is uber talented.



I caught part of Last Comic Standing at the gym last night and they had the contestants doing prop comedy. Carrot Top was the one judging and it made me realize that the guy is really a prop comedy genius.

I'm sure many of you have seen the website Stuff White People Like. Well now they made a book based on the popular site.

It's too bad I couldn't make it to the James Brown collection auction at Christies. Look at what we missed. Sort of a strange assortment of items and Paul Shaffer bought his medical bracelet.

And The Band Played On...



Classic.

Wait a minute..something's not right. Dwight's doing the weather!


I hope you have some fun plans for the weekend. It's going to be a good weekend to be near the water or in the air conditioning at the movies. I will be seeing Batman this weekend even though the thought of Meryl and Pierce singing Abba does intrigue me. Be well and be sure to reserve your tickets to Piccola Cosi!

The Best Recyclers

Evan's thought of the morning while walking to work:

"Gee, the homeless are the best recyclers"

It's Thursday and it's going to be hot today. Drink plenty of fluids and stay inside. Oh yeah, and if you are near a pool, how about a swim? Hopefully it won't be crowded.

I have been having some problems with my bluetooth recently and it's frustrating making a call in the car and not being sure if the other person is going to be able to hear me. So I did some research and looked at a list of the best bluetooth devices out there and I went ahead and ordered one. Let me just say I am so happy with it. It has amazing sound quality and it's sleek design is great too. They are not paying me to promote this but perhaps someone at Aliph will send me a free Jawbone in the mail. Check these cool devices out.

Mamma Mia, Batman is selling out like hotcakes.

Andy Dick needs some help, and getting another reality show is not the answer.

Anyone want to grab Subway for lunch?

Jake Bronstein is at it again! I love this guy. First a wookie, then pennies, and now this. Keep up the great work Jake.

NJ doctors are the best...I mean, they perform your surgery and give you a temporary rose tattoo while you're under.

If you are seeking the perfect burger in NYC why not read Alan Richman's recent blog.


So how are you doing? Sorry, I rarely take the time to ask you about yourself and what you've been up to. I really hope you are doing well. What's that? Late night karaoke? Ehhhh...okay, here's one more. Mamma Mia is opening this weekend so this is appropriate.

Rate this performance at The Sims On Stage

Question of the Day:
Wachovia: Watch ova ya or Walk ova ya?

Honey, Turkey's done.

I stepped into a subway car this morning that was so hot you could have fried an egg on the seat. Where's Mario Batali when you need him. It was so hot, I could just about see the red timer popping out of the legs of the human turkeys sitting across from me.

So I don't think I've mentioned this yet on the blog, but my gym is being taken over by Gold's Gym. They've been signing new members up like crazy and it'll be interesting to see what renovations they make. They said they are really going to make it nice and I've locked in a great rate by signing up early.

You have to love a story like this one. As if Paterson, NJ doesn't have any other problems, a councilman wants to start a crusade against saggy pants. If caught, police will yell "pull 'em up" in addition to "put 'em up" making it, "pull 'em up, put 'em up". At which point the officer, instead of handcuffing them will put a belt on them.

Grab your Wii and let's start a band.

Video of the day....**Warning, contains minor nudity** Letterman used to use some clips from this video and I've been wanting to post this for awhile. So why not today?



Tonight is HUla Hoop night at Tortilla Flats so I'm heading over there with my co-workers for some post work fun. I'm going to try this tonight and just see what happens.

I've gotten some requests for more karaoke songs so late last night, I recorded another one. Don't think it came out as well as the one I posted a few days ago. But here it is.

Rate this performance at The Sims On Stage

Have a great day and stay cool.

Alfred, get me the batmobile...

I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the post yesterday. Did anyone get to attend The Dark Knight premiere in New York last night? The carpet was black last night and Heath Ledger's family was in attendance. His father gave the thumbs up when he came out and the critics are crazy about this film and Heath's performance.


What happens when you mix Feist with Sesame Street? Well, take a look...



That'll teach you for not putting the seat down.

Finally, I can start drilling for oil in my backyard...anyone want to join me? We can reenact scenes from There Will Be Blood.

I once got an instructional dance video from Netflix and it was really cheesy so I sent it back and haven't thought about it until this week. I think we got a few steps out of it but I thought I would share this with you so we can organize a massive thriller dance. Everyone just start doing this at 3:00pm today. You know you want to.

Save The Last Dance For Me

Happy Monday Morning... I hope you had a great weekend. I had a pretty busy one which began with seeing Hancock on Friday night. Going into the movie I really didn't know what to expect and I must say I enjoyed the film although there were a few things that bothered me. The special effects weren't great and a lot of them looked pretty fake. The thing that bothered me more was Charlize Theron. Her acting was bad and they gave us clues that something was up just by the odd way she was acting from the start. I would have liked to have been more surprised by the development of her character if that makes sense to you without my ruining the "surprise" at the end.

Saturday I came into the city to go to a training for my sister's play (Piccola Cosi) which will be part of the 2008 NY International Fringe Festival. I will plug her play again but I encourage you to go see it. Click here to go to the Fringe Festival Website. After that I made the trip to Spring Lake. It was a beautiful day there and I had a great visit. I posted some photos over the weekend from my walk on the boardwalk and around the neighborhood. I love going around and looking at the houses and seeing the new houses being built. The prices of the houses are crazy and a small empty lot is selling for 1.3 million. It's so relaxing and I really had a great time with my family.

Yesterday was game day at Jon and Justine's house so the whole gang got together and it was a blast.

Let's see what's going on today...

Hmmm..Celebrity barfight.

In case you missed it last night, Miss Universe has been crowned and although I didn't see it, Miss USA fell down for the second year in a row during the gown competition. Oh wait, someone posted it on YouTube already.



Awhile back on this blog I was plugging SingShot like crazy. I got a few co-workers into it and I must say I went back to record a song yesterday. And Now, for your listening pleasure (or not) I am pleased to introduce my new hit, my new theme song (everyone has to have one according to Ally Mcbeal)...hit it maestro.

Rate this performance at The Sims On Stage

Two houses , one lot

spring lake

Judd Apatow, Make Me A Star!

So a few people have commented to me that they think Judd Apatow should make me a star in one of his movies. Perhaps this is because I have curly hair and look as though I could be in the new movie Step Brothers, or could this be because I have curly hair and I'm funny? Either way, my buddy Boaz wrote about Judd awhile back and Judd stumbled upon his entry. So Mr. Apatow, this post is for you. Just imagine the press you will get when you turn a blogger (me) into the next comedy star. Not only have I acted before, but I also sing and I can even do a human mouth trumpet. I don't know what more you could ask for! I look forward to hearing from you Mr. Apatow even though I'm sure you are extremely busy.


The Olympics are coming up and apparently Beijing has asked that hotels and restaurants take dog off of their menus during the Olympics and the Paralympics. Athletes competing this year were confused.."wait, so no hot dogs?".

Novelty Drinks are here to stay.

Jaws is baaaack.

Blackbird singing in the morning light.
Copying siren sounds all through the night
Will they kill it? They might.

I hope you have been checking out YesButNoButYes because there have been many great posts lately. In addition to Adam's posts, now Johnny Wright is a part of the team. Excellent stuff guys.

I hope you have a great weekend. Thanks to all of my friends, family, readers who have shown your support in one way or the other over the past week. I really appreciate it.

I'm going to have Dr. Phil have the last word today, take it away...

"Everyone says, 'All of the good ones are gone. I can't meet anybody. That's clearly a problem, but also, once you get into a relationship, we sometimes say, 'If we're in love, we shouldn't have to work at this, right?'

"That's not true. You always have to work at your relationship."

Singing In The Car...Just Singing In The Car

I'll be honest, I have been having trouble sleeping lately. I toss and turn a lot and I've been waking up before my alarm goes off at 5:55am. According to the internet the leading cause of sleep disorders is...you guessed it, emotional turmoil. Okay Dr. Oz, what should I do?



I knew he'd be able to offer some sort of advice. Perhaps he has answers to some of my other questions.


On the way to the bus this morning I suddenly started singing with the Billy Joel song playing on the radio. I didn't care what the woman next to me thought, half awake and yawning. Singing in the car this morning made me think of that show Motormouth on VH1. It's sort of like candid camera but it catches people singing in the car. Have you heard about The Singing Office? I really want to sign our office up.

Did you see this...wow:



Kids are celebrating the fact that well, vegetables can be deadly.

"But mom, I don't want to eat this salad...the cilantro might contain traces of salmonella."

Did you hear about the Bronx Zoo Skyfari cable car that got stuck in the air yesterday? Scared passengers said they survived on peanuts and bananas. One person was said to be yelling at the Hyenas, "This isn't funny, stop laughing."

And while I'm on the subject of animals, a huge bat will be swooping into our area soon. That's right, The Dark Knight opens on July 18th and Warner Brothers wants to make sure you know about it. The bat signal has arrived.

A busy day today and it has just Begum.

Sacha Baron Cohen Is Amazing

I'm sure you probably have heard about this already, but Devang sent me an article about it yesterday. Sacha Baron Cohen is a genius when it comes to staging events for his films. He's been filming the new Bruno film and according to The Smoking Gun, here's what he pulled off:

Lured by $1 beer and the prospect of "hot chicks" and "hardcore fights," thousands of Arkansans were duped last month into appearing as extras in comedian Sacha Baron Cohen's latest staged mayhem. Cohen and his confederates organized cage fighting programs on consecutive days in Texarkana and Fort Smith. Both cards ended with two male grapplers (one was identified as "Straight Dave" and wore camouflage) tearing each other's clothes off and, while in underwear, kissing down their opponent's chest. This man-on-man action triggered Fort Smith fans to throw chairs and beer at the ring, according to one cop present at the city's Convention Center.

I look forward to seeing what Mr. Cohen does next.


So if you haven't already gotten an iphone and you want to buy the new 3G version, Friday morning is your opportunity. At 8AM the 3G iPhone will go on sale at Apple stores.

And for all of you Ugly Betty fans, the 3rd season will be taking place in NYC so filming has begun and Gothamist captured some photos in DUMBO.

Do you like popcorn as much as I do? Do you sometimes find your microwave burns your popcorn and you just want to air pop it the old fashioned way? Well check this out. It's the Do-It-Yourself Popcorn popper.



USB Popcorn Maker - video powered by Metacafe

I wonder if you can put butter in there?

Gee, I watched some of that new show on ABC, Wipeout. It sure did make me laugh and I could definitely see myself watching it again. It's basically just watching people getting knocked off their feet and falling into the mud and water.



And I leave you with this:



Have a great day.

I Don't Have A Title For Today's Post

So I am back at work after feeling like I've been on the roller coaster ride of my life. This one much worse than Kingda Ka. Elissa and I spent a week in Virginia Beach where the tattoos are plentiful and pancakes and seafood buffets are the food of choice. We stayed in the nicest resort on the beach and saw dolphins, heard lots of noisy jets fly by, did yoga on the beach, rode a tricycle for two, ate at Dirty Dick's, and much more. There was live music almost every night and Fastball was there on our last night. I had no idea who they were but when I heard their signature song I knew...



We also stopped off at krazy karaoke night where I performed In The Still Of The Night for a crowd of mostly Ohioans. Would I recommend Virginia Beach to you? Probably not, but it was relaxing sitting by the pool and on the beach (except when the wind blew sand in our faces). Oh yeah, and most mornings we woke up to a nice whiff of the NC wildfires. All in all I had a really nice time and thoroughly enjoyed my first Hardees burger, Bake now, Charbroil later.

Here's a recipe for the week, homemade lemon marshmallows.

Awesome:



Are you a first class flier angry that economy passengers are boarding the plane before you? Heck, just use the slide like this passenger.

This post is going to be short as this is my first day back to work and it's a slow news day. I hope you had a great Fourth of July. I learned that life and love can take twists and turns at any moment and nothing is ever as easy as they make it look on tv and in the movies. I leave you with this quote to ponder:

New love is the brightest, and long love is the greatest; but revived love is the tenderest thing known on earth.
Thomas Hardy

Blog Still On Vacation

Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled blogging starting again on Tuesday, July 8th